What I Learned When the Wheels Fell Off

The wheels fell off when my husband was suddenly, out of the blue, at 48 diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. We were on holiday in Thailand, enjoying a lovely buffet breakfast overlooking the water when my son noticed that Daddy looked a bit yellow. We were later to discover that he was suffering from pancreatitis which can be an indicator for something rather serious.

On returning to Hobart and the reality of my husband’s illness was fully revealed, our lives as we knew them ground to a painful halt.

Watching my husband potentially face his own mortality and the sudden realisation that we were not immune to tragic events occurring in life, inexplicably altered our perspective.

What we discovered was:

Following the ‘Knuckle down theory’ because…if something goes wrong you will be stable, secure, financial , practical and prepared …was misguided!

Ironically, the reason that we don’t pursue our dreams, ideals and interests, or a sense of personal fulfilment is because we are sold the idea …(actually we generally sell it to ourselves) that self indulgent behaviour will end in tears. Perhaps you were a vivacious child and needed to be reigned, perhaps motherhood told you you should self-sacrifice, perhaps you tried and failed and still have your tail between your legs?

Really it’s the opposite. Not pursuing your dreams and values, not stopping to ask yourself if you are the kind of person that you always wanted to be and doing something about it, will end in tears!! Guaranteed.

When you are faced with ‘real reality’ that there are no guarantees in life and that you only get one go at it….no really, we only get one go…you discover that anything you are pursuing which is not in alignment with your values is a waste of time!

So here’s what to do:

There are a number of steps you can take now in order to help you to stop living your average life and start living a more fulfilling one. Right now.

1. Realise that you are supposed to be doing something fulfilling!
2. Ask yourself what quality of light you are emanating now?
3. List down what you would need to change in order to shine brightly.
4. Make a list of your top 5 values (imperative- because if you are unsure of what your core values are it is difficult to live by them! )
5. Make a list of all the things you could do to live in alignment with those values.
6. Start noticing the ‘mean voice’ that justifies you not taking action – and decide to ignore it!
7. Start by doing just one thing each day (an action, a conversation, a task, making a plan) that represents your values and true desires and note it down in a daily journal.

Lisa xx