Is it OK to not feel grateful?

As women in our 40s and 50s, we often feel like we have to constantly push ourselves to be on top of everything. It can feel like there’s a constant pressure to always be positive, organised and grateful for our lives. But it’s important to remember that it’s okay to not always feel happy and content with where we are in life. It’s okay to take time for ourselves and retreat into ourselves in order to grow into the next phase of our lives.

If you’re feeling like you’re going through the motions and not experiencing joy or fulfilment, it’s important to take a step back and allow yourself the time and space to not feel okay. This means slowing down or stopping something that isn’t serving you and taking the time to feel your feelings, acknowledge them, and work through them. Sitting in your feelings without trying to escape them can be helpful. Meditation or breathing exercises can be a good way to practice this as well as having an honest conversation with a good friend about how you really feel.

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned is that if we want to have the energy to give to others, we have to be feeling genuinely okay with ourselves first. That’s why it’s so important to take the time to do some work on ourselves in order to learn and grow. Think of it like going into a cocoon – you’re taking the time to transform and emerge as something stronger and wiser.

So how can you learn to appreciate life more without feeling like you’re adding more pressure to yourself? Here are some tips:

1. Make it a priority to take some time for yourself – whether it’s going for a walk, taking a bath, or reading a book, make sure you’re carving out time in your day to do something that brings you a sense of calm.
2. Sit with your feelings – instead of trying to escape your feelings, take the time to acknowledge them and sit with them. Meditation or breathing exercises can be a helpful way to practice this.
3. Connect with others – spending time with a friend or family member can help you feel more connected and grounded. Whether it’s a phone call, a coffee date, or a night out, make time to be with the people you care about.
4. Get outside – nature has a way of putting things in perspective. Go for a walk, a hike, a bike ride or simply sit outside and be in the fresh air and sunshine.
5. Try tapping into your creativity – get your hands in some clay, create a vision board or try some singing, drawing or painting.

Remember, it’s okay to not always feel grateful or positive. It’s okay to take time for yourself and work through your feelings. Just know that when you emerge from your cocoon, you’ll be stronger, wiser, and more appreciative of life. And you’ll be better able to give to those around you because you’ve taken the time to take care of yourself first.

Lisa xx